Who Is Samantha Dillingham? Her Surprising Connection to Tom Hanks

When we think of Tom Hanks, we often picture the beloved Hollywood icon known for roles in Forrest Gump, Cast Away, and Saving Private Ryan. He’s also known for his decades-long marriage to actress and singer Rita Wilson. But long before this highly visible relationship, Hanks was married to a woman who lived largely outside the spotlight — Samantha Lewes, whose real name was Samantha Dillingham.

The story of Samantha Dillingham is layered, complex, and deeply connected to Hanks’ early life, career, and family. With recent revelations brought forth in the 2025 memoir The 10: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road by their daughter E.A. (Elizabeth Anne Hanks), new light has been cast on Dillingham’s troubled past, her influence on Tom Hanks, and the childhood experiences of their children. This article explores Samantha Dillingham’s life — from her early years and marriage to Hanks to her tragic decline and the lasting impact on her family.

Quick Bio Table: Samantha Dillingham

Early Life and Background

Born Susan Jane Dillingham in San Diego, California, Samantha spent much of her early life away from public scrutiny. Information about her family background remains limited, though her daughter E.A.’s memoir suggests a traumatic and unstable upbringing. According to excerpts, Samantha may have been exposed to deeply disturbing experiences in childhood, which later influenced her mental health and parenting.

She eventually adopted the stage name Samantha Lewes when pursuing a career in acting. She enrolled at California State University, Sacramento, where she immersed herself in the arts and theatre — and it was here that her path crossed with a young aspiring actor named Tom Hanks.

Meeting Tom Hanks: College Years and Romance

Samantha met Tom Hanks during their college years in the mid-1970s. Both students were active in the university’s theatre department. Hanks has spoken fondly of his early acting experiences at Sacramento State, where he not only acted but also stage-managed and built sets.

Their shared passion for performance laid the foundation for their relationship. The couple fell in love, and their bond grew strong enough to weather the early challenges of young adulthood and financial instability. In January 1978, they were married, just as Hanks was starting to gain traction in the entertainment industry.

Starting a Family: Children and Career Paths

Soon after marrying, Samantha and Tom welcomed two children:

• Colin Hanks (b. November 24, 1977), who would go on to become a successful actor in his own right.

• Elizabeth Anne “E.A.” Hanks (b. May 17, 1982), who has pursued a career in writing and journalism.

Samantha briefly explored an acting career herself. She appeared in small roles, including an episode of Bosom Buddies (1981) — a show starring her then-husband — and a minor appearance in Mr. Success (1984). However, her acting career did not flourish in the way Hanks’ did.

Instead, Samantha often remained behind the scenes, raising her children and managing family life as Hanks’ star began to rise.

A Troubled Marriage and Divorce

Despite their early bond, the couple’s relationship began to falter by the mid-1980s. Hanks has admitted in past interviews that marrying young and struggling with the responsibilities of family life took a toll on their marriage. They separated in 1985 and finalized their divorce in 1987.

During the separation and post-divorce period, Samantha was awarded primary custody of their two children. However, the arrangement grew strained when Samantha abruptly relocated the children from Los Angeles to Sacramento without informing Hanks. According to E.A.’s memoir, this move significantly disrupted their relationship with their father and highlighted the instability of their upbringing.

Post-Divorce Life and Decline

Following the divorce, Samantha’s life reportedly became more difficult. E.A.’s memoir paints a troubling picture of her mother’s mental and emotional decline. Though never formally diagnosed, Samantha allegedly exhibited signs of bipolar disorder, marked by intense mood swings, religious delusions, and episodes of paranoia.

E.A. describes their home life as unpredictable and, at times, dangerous. She details instances of emotional and physical abuse, food insecurity, and increasing isolation. These years were characterized by a complex mix of maternal love and psychological trauma.

The 2025 Memoir: E.A.’s Revelations

In 2025, E.A. Hanks published her memoir, The 10: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road, in which she candidly discusses her childhood, her mother’s behavior, and the enduring effects of family trauma. The book was met with both praise and shock, especially for its revelations about Samantha Dillingham’s mental health and parenting.

E.A. writes that her mother’s behavior escalated over the years, including:

• Physical violence (such as striking her in the face at age 14)

• Paranoia and delusional behavior

• Religious obsession and erratic prayer routines

One particularly haunting chapter describes how Samantha may have witnessed an act of violence by her own father, which, if true, could explain some of the emotional damage she carried into adulthood.

Tom Hanks’ Response

Tom Hanks addressed the memoir publicly in an interview with Access Hollywood in May 2025. While he didn’t refute the contents of the book, he emphasized the importance of honesty and healing:

“I’m not surprised that my daughter had the wherewithal as well as the curiosity to examine this thing that I think she was incredibly honest about. We all come from checkered, cracked lives — all of us.”

Hanks’ response was widely regarded as compassionate and mature, underscoring his ongoing support for his daughter while acknowledging the difficult truths of their shared past.

Death and Legacy

Samantha Dillingham died in 2002 from lung cancer at the age of 49. Her death was mourned privately, and little public attention was given at the time.

In the years since, her children — particularly E.A. — have continued to process their complicated relationship with her. Through memoirs, interviews, and therapy, the legacy of Samantha Dillingham has evolved from obscurity to something far more nuanced: a portrait of a woman shaped by trauma, deeply flawed, and yet forever etched into the lives of those she left behind.

Samantha Dillingham’s Impact on Her Children

Both Colin and E.A. have spoken about their upbringing in varying ways. Colin, now an accomplished actor, rarely speaks publicly about his mother, preferring privacy. E.A., in contrast, has taken a more introspective and literary approach, using writing as a tool to explore and heal from her childhood experiences.

Despite their difficult upbringing, both children have forged successful paths, perhaps in part due to — and in spite of — the turbulent environment they emerged from.

A Quiet Figure in a Famous Life

Though rarely mentioned during Tom Hanks’ public life, Samantha Dillingham was a pivotal figure in his early years. She was his college sweetheart, the mother of his first two children, and a deep influence on his formative adult experiences.

While their marriage didn’t last, and her legacy is complex and often painful, Samantha’s role in the broader Hanks family story is undeniable. With E.A.’s memoir, a once-obscured figure has been given voice — revealing the truth, flaws, and humanity of a woman long overshadowed by a Hollywood legend.

Conclusion

Samantha Dillingham’s story is not simply that of Tom Hanks’ first wife — it’s the story of a woman shaped by trauma, who sought love and connection in a chaotic world. Her surprising connection to Tom Hanks is now more understood than ever, thanks to the honesty of her daughter and the willingness of the Hanks family to confront the past.

In remembering Samantha Dillingham, we confront the uncomfortable reality that even in lives touched by fame and success, darkness and complexity often remain just beneath the surface.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

1. Who was Samantha Dillingham and why is she significant?

Samantha Dillingham, known professionally as Samantha Lewes, was the first wife of actor Tom Hanks and the mother of his two eldest children, Colin and Elizabeth (E.A.). While she maintained a relatively private life, her recent re-emergence in public discourse is largely due to her daughter E.A.’s memoir, which revealed troubling aspects of her personal struggles, mental health, and parenting. She played a foundational role in Hanks’ early life and career, and her legacy continues through her children’s work in the arts.

2. What did E.A. Hanks say about her mother in her 2025 memoir?

In The 10: A Memoir of Family and the Open Road, E.A. Hanks described a childhood filled with emotional and physical abuse, instability, and trauma. She recounted her mother’s erratic behavior, possible undiagnosed bipolar disorder, and deep paranoia. The memoir also alluded to past family violence and a potential history of generational trauma, casting new light on Samantha’s behavior and emotional state. The book serves as both a personal account and a broader commentary on family dysfunction and healing.

3. How did Tom Hanks respond to the allegations about Samantha Dillingham?

Tom Hanks responded to the memoir with compassion and openness, stating in a May 2025 interview that he was not surprised by his daughter’s willingness to explore their family’s painful history. Rather than deny or refute her claims, Hanks acknowledged the complexity of human experience and emphasized the importance of honesty and reflection. His response was widely respected for its emotional maturity and understanding.

4. What caused Samantha Dillingham’s decline in later years?

Following her divorce from Tom Hanks, Samantha’s mental health reportedly deteriorated. According to E.A., she exhibited behaviors consistent with bipolar disorder and suffered from delusions, paranoia, and instability. Though never formally diagnosed, these patterns were documented in E.A.’s memoir. Additionally, her own traumatic childhood, including a disturbing story about her father, may have contributed to her psychological issues. She died in 2002 from lung cancer at the age of 49.

5. Is Samantha Dillingham portrayed fairly in the media today?

With recent revelations from her daughter’s memoir, public understanding of Samantha Dillingham has evolved. She is no longer just a footnote in Tom Hanks’ biography but a complex figure with a troubled past and profound influence on her children’s lives. While some portrayals focus on her shortcomings, others acknowledge her suffering and the generational trauma she endured. The media now presents her in a more balanced, humanizing way, thanks to firsthand accounts and deeper context.